Slow Dancing In A Burning Room
by PoisonAngelMuse
Summary: Edward Masen is a Grammy winner , that has been singing about The One that got away for the past 10 years. But what will he do after finding out she is not so far away anymore. A love story about the past meeting the present. B/E, HEA, Citrus.
1. All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye

**Chapter 1 – All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye**

**Disclaimer: The characters belongs to and the songs to John Mayer. I just own my imagination and own characters.**

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**A/N: Hey There, this is the first chapter of my new story _Slow Dancing in a Burning Room_, based on John Mayer song. This story will be very different from my previous work, since it´s based on the work of only one musician. This will have a Happy Ending and citrus, so be ready :)**

**Like always there will be many sets on Polyvore about this story. The link is down here and on my profile page!**

www(*)polyvore(*)com/slow_dancing_in_burning_room/ collection?id=2988924

**Hope you all enjoy and let me know what you guys think.**

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**Summary:Edward Masen is a Grammy winner , that has been singing about The One that got away for the past 10 years. But what will he do after finding out she is not so far away anymore. A love story about the past meeting the present. B/E, HEA, Citrus.**

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_**Prologue**_

**EPOV**

_It always amazed me how the stage and the crowd always brought out the best of me. The mass of bodies, all joined together for their love of the music, all absorbed in that perfect moment when the lyrics and melody were entwined, in an astonishing sync and balance. How could my words mean so much for all of these people? Even if this was a crowd of faceless people, it wouldn't matter, all that mattered was the music._

_The melody was so familiar and yet so foreign._

_Here we were, me, my piano and thousands of people, together in this meadow. The sounds were so familiar. I couldn't actually put them together, yet the melody had a sad sense to it. They were softly moving their hands up in their hair, lost in their own minds, the lyrics touching each one of their souls._

_It was one of those moments that looked like time had held still, that the Earth had stopped moving, just so that little special moment could last a lifetime._

_The wind that was softly blowing made the air seem lighter and the sun brighter, the colors of the wind dancing on the trees._

_My hands were moving softly, and the words seemed to come out of my mouth, my voice in a gigantic chorus with the crowd. Yet I couldn't hear myself._

_And then the time stopped and all I could see was dark auburn. _

_She stood there, in the middle of the mass of bodies, shinning like Sun. The wind was blowing on her waist long wavy auburn hair, she was all pale skin and soft curves, her smile so bright that it could make a man blind._

_She looked like an angel, with her long silk skirt, as blue as the sky that was above us, and a gray embellished cami crop top, together with a pair of turquoise earrings and necklace, she looked like an angel. The vision in the Oasis. The one and only thing I simply could not resist._

_She was softly dancing to the sound of the music, her hands moving up and down in the air, her eyes were closed and her smile was content. She looked easy and at peace. _

_I just needed to touch her, just for a minute, before she could disappear again._

_Soon I left the dark wood piano bench, and grabbed my Fender Guitar, walking to the front of the stage, my fingers sliding over the guitar, making sounds that I had never heard before. She was truly my Muse._

_The song picked up its tempo, the bodies jumping up and down, dancing along with each new chord I created. They seemed to follow every word I sang, and even if I couldn't hear myself, they sure could, their eyes filled with the same emotion I had when I first wrote this song._

_But like always, in the blink of an eye my Muse was gone, her empty spot still left in the middle of the crowd, like the eternal hole that she left in my soul the moment we said our goodbyes._

_All we ever do is say goodbye._

_I was tired of this, tired of being left with an empty spot, a bleeding heart and a hole so deep in my soul, that felt it would never be filled again. No matter how much I tried._ _I put my guitar down, and for some reason the music kept playing and the people continued dancing, even after I left the stage._

_I ran as fast as I could through the long green grass, passing through the wild flowers and old trees, wondering where she could have gone. _

_She was always gone, gone away from me._

_The sun was shining so hard, making it hard for me to see, and yet I caught the sight of her blue skirt blowing on the wind. I ran up the hill, following anywhere she would go, I would follow her if that was what would make her be mine one more time._

_Suddenly she stopped in the middle of a wild field of white and purple wild flowers, and stood there, waiting for me. Never had she looked more perfect and flawless. Yet such perfection seemed so unreal._

_She held her hand so I could reach it with mine. Her pale and soft skin felt as velvet as the first time I touched them._

"_I've been waiting for you," she said with a soft smile, her hair going crazy with the way the wind was blowing it against her face._

"_I feel like I've been chasing you forever," I told her, holding her face in my hands, seeing her cheeks become slightly red from the sun or my stare, I wasn't sure. She used to blush all the time for me._

"_That's because you have," she said with a small laugh._

"_Where have you been?" I asked her, so scared that she would fade away one more time in my arms._

"_I've been right here with you silly," she said, touching my green plaid shirt , on the spot where my heart was._

"_I don't want you to disappear again," I said, holding her so tight in my arms that I was afraid it might end up hurting her._

"_I won't go anywhere, remember?" she said, pointing to the ring finger on her left hand, where a platinum Vintage Art Deco diamond ring sat._

_I softly touched the ring, moving it between my fingers, seeing the pale skin under it, showing she had been wearing it for a while. She was engaged._

"_When is big day?" I asked her, feeling my heart constricting inside my aching chest._

"_Why don't you tell me silly, you are the one that doesn't seem to have your head on a date. You know, Edward you have only one responsibility in this. How could picking a date to be so hard?" she said with a smile._

"_Why would I do this?" I asked confused._

"_Because you are a very bad fiancé," she said, before putting her arms around my neck, and giving me a deep kiss. My hands held her softly, my fingertips touching her cheek, my tongue softly meeting hers in this so familiar dance. It was like we had never been apart._

_But it had been years since this had last happened, ten years to be precise, so how could I be here, kissing the girl of my dreams, to which she said I was supposed to marry soon?_

_This could only be a dream, I knew deep down I would never have that chance, not after ten years apart. We now had different live and lived in different worlds. We just didn't belong together anymore._

_I wasn't that 19 year old lost boy, that had two loves in his life: music and Isabella Swan._

_And I had asked her to come with me, to pick me, but instead she choose to leave me. _

"_This is not right," I said, pushing her softly away from me._

_Her presence was too intoxicating, she still smelled like jasmine after a rainy night, and it was too much for me. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I loved her, I always had and probably always would. But she broke us, she was the reason we were not together anymore, the reason why I would never hold her in my arms or feel her soft plump lips against my own._

_She would never be my girl again, not the one I was going to have children with and grow old and grey together. She was nothing more than a fantasy made by a broken hearted boy._

"_Edward," she said with a pained look, trying to get me back, trying to hold me close to her._

"_No, this is not real, nothing of this is," I said, letting go of her hand and walking deep inside of the woods, leaving her warm smile and lovely voice behind, calling my name, asking me not to leave her alone._

_But the thing was that she was the one that had left me alone in the first place._

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I wasn't that surprised when I woke up and realized that it was nothing but a dream, one that I had been having more frequently over the past few months.

Bella and I were an old story, the classic boy meets girl, falls for her, she doesn't give a crap about him, and in the end he makes the girl fall in love with him. We weren't together that long, we were very young and it was all very new for us. She was my first love.

Having a major heartbreak at the young age of 19 probably helped make me a little more bitter, a loner and a better musician. My very first hit was about our breakup, actually my first album was mainly about her, about finding and losing the love of my life.

Soon after Bella and I parted ways I ended up making my dream come true, making my songs reach the big crowd. The success did come a lot quicker than I expected and the success did make me lose my way for a while.

The mixture of bad friends, too much money and success ended up making me exactly the kind of man I hated and swore I would never be. I was an asshole for a few rough years, a mall slut and not a very good friend. But around three years ago it all changed, because I had a reason to, I found a new light in my life.

I looked down at the right side of my bed and there she lay, wearing one of my old faded Chicago Bears t-shirts, her long wavy blond hair all over her pillow, hugging tight on the covers. Meeting Megan had changed my life. I don't know where I would be and how I would have gotten through all the things that I had been through for the past couple of years if wasn't for her.

Which I guess is why it always made me feel like such a shitty person for having so many dreams about Bella. Bella was my past and Megan was my future, the ring on her left hand was proof of it, and yet my mind always brought Bella back to my life. She had been the major inspiration of my work for the past ten years, from love to sad songs, but it always made my chest ache after I wrote it.

Looking at the clock I saw it was four in the morning, and knowing there was no more chance of sleep, I quietly left the bed trying my best to not wake Meg. She had come back from Los Angeles and was exhausted after weeks of shooting. She needed some good rest.

I gave her a small peck on the top of her head and left the room, quietly closing the door after me.

I went to the my music room, which was nothing more than a regular bedroom that had sound proof walls and some of my guitars, a place that was my sanctuary and that I was spending more time in every day. I grabbed one of my music notebooks, the ones that had random ideas for future songs, and before I knew it I had written down almost all the song.

The soft melody that I had heard in my dream was so clear in my head, that I soon had written it all down, filing it with the lyrics that couldn't seem to get out of my head since the first time I had that dream. I had been trying to get the right words for the past couple of weeks, about what that could have meant, what she meant in it.

Soon my hands were over the acoustic guitar chords, and a acoustic version of the song was born.

Isabella Swan, the girl I loved when I was nineteen, the girl who had broken my heart had made me write another song about her.

And I always wondered if she ever heard me sing.

But that didn't matter now did it? All we ever did was say goodbye.

**_All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye_**

_Just when I had you off my head__  
__Your voice comes thrashing wildly through my quiet bed__  
__You say you wanna try again__  
__But I've tried everything but giving in__Why you wanna break my heart again?__  
__Why am I gonna let you try?__When all we ever do is say goodbye__  
__All we ever do is say goodbye__  
__All we ever do is say goodbye__  
__All we ever do is say goodbye__I bought a ticket on a plane__  
__And on the time we landed, you'd go again__  
__I love you more than songs can say__  
__But I can't keep running after yesterday__So...__  
__Why you wanna break my heart again?__  
__Why am I gonna let you try?__When all we ever do is say goodbye__  
__All we ever do is say goodbye__  
__All we ever do is say goodbye__  
__All we ever do is say goodbye__We say goodbye__  
__We say goodbye__  
__We say goodbye__All we ever do is say goodbye__  
__All we ever do is say goodbye__  
__All we ever do is say goodbye_


	2. Neon

**Chapter 2 – Neon**

**A/N: Here it is chapter 2 ! Hope you all enjoy, and if you like go check my other story 'I Will Possess Your Heart', link on my profile!**

**Thanks so much for your support guys! I love you all!**

**Enjoy!**

**EPOV**

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**New Hampshire, 2003.**

**Clint's Pub**

Like almost every week I was at Clint´s with my usual gig, I was part time waiter and part time performer, since I had to pay for my living somehow. Not that cleaning tables and serving drinks was my dream job, it was far from it, but the hours were flexible and it was an opportunity for me to put my music out there.

When I first told my parents I wanted to be a musician, I was fifteen and they laughed it out, expecting it to the just a phase of my teenager years. But when I decided to attend the Berklee College of Music shit really hit the fan – my father was a prestigious lawyer back at Chicago and my mother an architect – being an artist for then was not a realistic occupation. They tried really hard to make me quit the idea, telling it would be ok to have a hobby, but that I needed a real plan for my future. It was an endless source of fights at my home, the only person to support me was my little sister Alice, which had artist dreams of her own.

So after years of discussions, we reached an agreement, if I would do a main major in something else, I could do my minor is arts or music. Since my parent´s would be the ones to pay for my way through college it didn´t seem such a bad idea at the time. I was an average student, but with my SAT and a generous donation on my parents name to the new library, I became one of many Dartmouth students.

But what I didn't expect was that me majoring in Economics would take so much of my free time, so much that I barely could dedicate myself to my real passion which was music, so after a semester I was ready to quit. I had very little time to practice, to write the lyrics that were always running through my head and to go deeper inside my major in Arts.

So when I told my parents I was thinking of quitting they threated to cut me off, that I would to get on my own two feet if I gave up college, so I told them to I wouldn't give up, just do less classes. Off course they found out I was dropping all the politic and economic classes and attending only the arts, so let´s say my founds were also cut short after that.

It was on that moment that I decided to try to do things on my own way, so when I saw the add asking for waiter tables at Clint's I didn´t think it twice. It was exhaustive but it paid the bills and at the time it was also a great way to meet new ladies.

Clint's was like most college bars, filled with drunk students, an always crowded and full of life. It had a Irish style, a European pub feeling, that most people that came here didn´t stop to appreciate. I like most students was a frequent costumer, always coming to watch a game with my friends and try to get a new hook up. But I never had imagined I would one day spend most of my free time working here.

I still remember the day Clint came up beside me when I was cleaning the counter and asked me if I was the owner of that guitar case laying on the floor. I said yes, wondering if he would be to pissed to be for bringing it here after class, but he did surprised me asking me to fill out on the guy that was going to play that night.

That night I sat o that stall - only with my acoustic guitar and my voice - and for the first time people actually stopped to listen to me. I played an old cover of _Stairway to Heaven_, and soon I had a list of songs that people on the bar wanted me to sing. So once in a week I would put my waiter apron at side and grab my guitar and do the thing I most loved on the world. To play.

From once in week, it became twice and soon I played from Thursday through Sunday, for at least one hour. After a few months my small show that was filled with covers and orders from the audience, became mixed with my own writing, and after a while my songs were being sang by the crowd. I will never forget the feeling of euphoria that listening to them brought me.

It was in one of those night that my life changed for good.

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I just had received a text of my girlfriend Bella saying she wouldn´t be able to come to see me play on the bar that night, since she had to stay late on the library to finish one of her English assays. She was very focused and dedicated, so she speeded more time studying than actually living her college experience, but she always said she was keeping her eyes on the prize, that one day all her effort would be worth it. So I guess we can say I was expecting her abscess in here, she even tried to come support me from time to time, but a noise college pub filled with drunk people wasn´t exactly her thing.

I really wanted to show her my new song, I had finished it last night but she had fallen sleep before I could come home, and left before I had woken up. She worked part time on the library and spend the major of her time in classes, but I can´t complain, she still made enough time for us to be together, she just was to exhausted those past few days because of her final exams. Bella oppositely to me took college really serious, so she gave her blood to keep her scholarship. Her family was very simple, her dad a cop and her mom a pre-school teacher, and she still had a younger sister that was still in high school. So she couldn´t afford the risk of losing her one ticket to her success.

With Bella on my mind, I walked to the small improvised stage, that was close to the tables, on the opposite side of the bar. I took my acoustic guitar from its case, turned on the microphone, removed my leather jacket and sat on the dark wood stall. It was late, so the bar was at full swing, and some of my regulars were arriving with their beers to watch the show.

I took a sip of my Heineken, and put the guitar on my lap.

"Goodnight everyone, I am Edward Masen and I'll be the entertainment tonight" I said, receiving claps and some screams from the crowd.

My fingers soon started to play the chords of the guitar, the sounds of my new song become to form, it was very complex performance with insane accords and catching lyrics.

_**Neon**_

_When sky blue gets dark enough__  
__To see the colors of the city lights__  
__A trail of ruby red and diamond white__  
__Hits her like a sunrise__She comes and goes and comes and goes__  
__Like no one can__Tonight she's out to lose herself__  
__And find a high on Peachtree Street__  
__From mixed drinks to techno beats__  
__It's always heavy into everything__She comes and goes and comes and goes__  
__Like no one can__  
__She comes and goes and no one knows__  
__She's slipping through my hands__She's always buzzing just like__  
__Neon, neon__  
__Neon, neon__  
__Who knows how long, how long, how long__  
__She can go before she burns away__I can't be her angel now__  
__You know it's not my place to hold her down__  
__And it's hard for me to take a stand__  
__When I would take her anyway I can__She comes and she goes__  
__Like no one can__  
__She comes and she goes__  
__She's slipping through my hands__She's always buzzing just like__  
__Neon, neon__  
__Neon, neon__  
__Who knows how long, how long, how long__  
__She can go before she burns away__  
__Away__She comes and she goes__  
__Like no one can__  
__She comes and she goes__  
__She's slippin through my hands__She's always buzzing just like__  
__Neon, neon__  
__Neon, neon__  
__Who knows how long, how long, how long__  
__She can go before she burns away_

The crowd was moving in the sync of the music, the girls were trying to look sexy shaking their bodies, the crowd clapping their hands on the rhythm of it and even if it was an acoustic version it caught the public attention. It would look great when I got the time to make a version for my guitar, and even work with the other instruments, like a good bass line and some drums.

It was a hit, people shouted and clapped at the end of the song, making me feel like I could fly. I decided to keep going with some covers from classic rock bands, like Queen and Bon Jovi. The chicks always digged the 80s song.

I played for another hald an hour, when I made a small break, to go take a leek and get a fresh beer from the bar.

"Edward, you were amazing" Lauren, a regular at the bar said, trying to push her tits way to close to me for my liking.

"I love the new song" her friend with ginger hair said.

"Thanks girls, I am glad you are enjoying the show' I said, trying to walk to the bar to get my beer.

"You so should try to make a record, don´t you think Amber' Lauren said to ginger head.

"Totally" Amber said back with a smile, the girl looked sweet, but I could see that there was only air between her ears.

"Oh my, why had I never thought of that" I said with sarcasm, it wasn´t the first time people had tell me this. But it was really hard to get on the music industry, especially if you are in middle of New Hampshire.

"You know, you are a rock star, you so should be treated like one. And if you like, the three of us can make this night worth of one" Lauren said, trying to run her hands down my chest and look seductive.

"Ok ladies, it was great to chat with the two of you, but I got go to the man´s bathroom' I said, removing Lauren from my personal space.

I left a very annoyed Lauren and a confused Amber behind me and walked to the bar to finally grab my beer.

"Rough groupies" Clint asked me with a smirk, handing me my cold Heineken.

"You have no idea, no matter how many times I say no, Lauren keeps coming back" I said annoyed, before taking a huge gulp of beer. Damm I was thirsty.

"They are right you know" a guy with a southern accent said.

"Excuse me' I asked confused, looking down at the man beside me, tall, blond and young. Wearing flannel shirt, jeans and cowboy boots, he sure wasn´t from around here.

**( set on my polyvore account – link on my profile page)**

"Jasper Whitlock" he introduced himself, offering his hands for me to shake.

"Edward Masen" I said, shaking his hands.

"You were really great there, it's that your composition" he asked, taking a slip of his burbon.

"Yeah" I said confused.

"I am sorry, I know I am being weird, but I work with music and I can say you can do amazing things out there" he said with a smile.

"And exactly what you work on" I asked him.

"I am a music producer. Here, take my card" he said, giving me a card.

"There is only your name and phone number on it" I said, wondering what this guy deal was.

"It´s an independent label" he said, finishing his bourbon.

" How old are you? Twenty and something? I can´t imagine what kind of experience you may have" I said, feeling slightly disappointed.

"Well, till a few months ago I worked with Sony Music in Nashville, first I had an internship and then I started to scout new talents of country and blues artists" he explained.

"So, you worked for the country music branch of Sony" I asked shocked to actually be meeting somebody of the music industry, in here of all places.

"Yeah, for a few years, it was based on my sweet Nashville,Tennessee" he said smirking.

"Are you from there" I asked with curiosity.

"No, I am from Dallas, Texas. But I moved there when I got my internship after college" he said, grabbing a pack of cigarettes from his jacket pocket.

"You can´t smoke here pal" Clint said to him, pointing to the no smoke sign on the wall.

"Fine" he said, getting up and leaving to smoke outside, leaving me hanging there.

"What are you waiting for kid? Go after the cowboy" Clint said, mentioning for me to go after Jasper.

"Hey there, wait" I shouted, running after him, and not finding him outside.

"Lost something kid" he asked me, coming from the side alley, with a cigarette on his lips, the smoke blowing against the wind on the cold night.

"I sure as hell hope not" I said, lighting a cigarette of my own.

"Do you have a manager" he asked me.

"No, why" I asked him.

"Then you sure as hell better find one kid, cause you got a gift, a real talent. I am not talking about just the voice, but also your skills on the guitar, and the appeal to get a crowd insane. You are the kind of musician that can send an entire stadium on fire" he said sounding excited, I never heard anyone talking like that about my work.

"Thanks" I said, lost in words.

"Let me tell you something, I am a producer to a small independent label, but I still got some hot contacts. If you want, we can go to LA and talk to my guy at Columbia Records" he said, finishing his cigarette and throwing it away.

"Wait, what" I asked, everything feeling to unreal to me.

"You got the talent to make it big Edward, the point is, do you want to" he asked me, leaving me to wonder alone by my own dreams, desires and doubts.

* * *

**Seattle, 2013.**

**JW Music Inc - Jaspers Studio.**

I turned off the engine of my Audi R8, after parking it to the undercover garage of Jasper new studio. It was a nice small building with four floors and a garage for ten cars. It had a mix of modern and antique with the glass walls mixed with the red bricks. He had bought this place after he and Alice decided it was time to leave LA and go to somewhere they could start a family, without all the drama that Hollywood always brought to our life's, and what a better place to start a _JW Music Incorporation_ than the place Grunge was born?

( set on my polyvore – link on my profile)

For the past ten years Jasper and I had walked side by side, and since that moment he found me playing at Clint's I always had him to cover my back. So when my life started to spin out of control, my voice was gone and so was he, I decided to follow him and my sister to Washington state.

I know it sounds ridiculous since all I wanted was to go to LA and make my dreams come true, make a record and play my music to as much people as possible. But fame has a price that sometimes is way too high. In the middle of the concerts, writing, recording , where also partying, sex and lots of alcohol. It wasn´t the best life style, especially if you make a living from your voice.

But I don't regret my decision for even one second, after I left LA I felt like I was me again, the same Edward that cleaned tables at Clint's, the only difference was that I had a few Grammys awards on my living room.

" good evening" Tayler said, from the front desk.

"Night Tayler, is Jasper here" I asked him, hoping he would still be here even though it was pretty late.

"Yes sir, he is working on studio B" he said, looking from the computer screen. "Thanks" I said, walking up the stairs to the studio B.

Jasper had put all his heart and soul on this place, it had four separately studio rooms, so he could have a higher profit from more recording artists. It was a nice place, with a rich amber walls that gave the place a different glow. The recording space was very nice, inside it could fit a grand baby piano, drums, plus the guitars and bass. Because of it, it was comfy and always made me loss the notion of time when I was there.

I had been working the past three months on my sixth album, but so far I wasn´t very lucky on it, the lyrics were getting right with the melody and everything sounded a mess. Jasper had been very patient on me, especially since this one would be the first one since I lost my voice, and after many painful treatments with Botox on my vocal chords. My voice wasn´t the same as before, what frustrated me to no end, which also made my creativity blocked.

It was a disaster.

I opened the studio B door, to find Jasper over the recording table, trying to mix together all the sounds of the latest recording artist. It sounded like a mixture of punk and pop. It was awful.

"That's crap" I said, sitting beside him, closing my eyes on the sound of the unturned guitar.

" Yeah I know, but I got to make them look less shitty" he said, trying to change the volume of the bass.

"They are still shifty" I said, wondering how could this people have the guts to try to get to the market when they sounded like a drunk version of a garage band.

"They may be, but they will help me pay the bills" Jasper said, and I knew he was right, since he had lost many of his high paying clients when we left LA. Some were still pretty fitful and always came here, or Jasper would go to LA or NY to produce their music. But business were though, and in this economy, we couldn´t risk it.

"I am sorry Jazz" I said, feeling guilty for not being able to help, after all whitout a new album, there would be no money for my record deal.

"You know, your voice will come back to be like it was eventually. You are already way better, I mean, you can talk" he said, trying to cheer me up.

"Thanks for reminding me" I said with a sad smile, the last year had been shitty for my carrer.

"Sorry dude" he said with a apologetic smile.

"That's ok" I said, I was already used to this talk by now.

"You look like shit" he said, shutting of the sound.

"Yeah, it´s been a rough week" I said, running my hands over my tired eyes.

"Still can´t sleep" he asked me, knowing how much I had been going insane over my lack of sleep.

"Yeah, those dreams men, I just can´t go back to sleep after it" I said, wishing that SHE would just vanish from my mind once. "The ghost of Bella is still hunting you" he said with sympathy.

"Even after all those years, she can still fuck up with me' I said angrily, but I knew that it wasn´t actually her fault that my mind was twisted and still couldn´t let go of her memory.

"Have you told any of this to Meg" he asked me.

"And say what _' Hey I love you, you are my fiancé, but I can´t stop dreaming about my ex_' no thanks" I said with sarcasm.

"Maybe you need to talk to Bella, get some closure, maybe finally then you would get some peace of mind" Jasper said with a calming voice, he and his Buddhist crap, always trying to make me see the other side of things.

"Nha, there is nothing left to say, I just need to get some good sleep. Maybe I need to make another visit to " I said with a shrug, maybe some sleeping pills would solve all my problems.

"Whatever you say man" Jasper said, understanding that I really didn´t want to wasn't more time talking about her.

Even if I wanted to leave Bella buried on my past, where she belonged, I just couldn´t let go of that song. Even if it was about her, or at least inspired by her constant presence on my nightmares, it was the first decent song I had wrote in the past few months.

When I lost my voice I was to depress to even think about writing, so I just stay hiding on my apartment playing my guitar and trying to pretend that nothing was wrong. I spent way to long in denial, and losing so much time. I didn´t want to lose more time, and I sure as hell didn´t want to make Jasper lose his.

"I may have something" I said to him, grabbing the folded white paper from my back pocket.

"What is it" Jasper asked with curiosity.

"Something I came up a few nights ago" I said, handing him the paper with the lyrics and melody written on.

"Midnight inspiration" he asked me, while running his eyes though the paper.

"More a nightmare inspiration" I told him, expecting anxiously for his opinion.

"Wow" he said, smiling, grabbing his guitar and trying to make the melody come to life.

"So, what do you think" I asked him.

" I think Bella may had inspired you one more time" he said, making small arranges on the song.

"Who said it was about her" I said to him, not wanting to admit she was being once again my Muse.

"What is about her" a feminine voice from behind me. Shit.

"Hey baby" Jasper said, getting up to give her a kiss.

" I knew if I didn´t come here to get you , you would never go home, you are working way to much Jazz" she said, running her hand through Jasper messy hair.

"Love you to Ally" I said with sarcasm, since she essentially ignored my presence.

" Grown up brother" she said, coming and giving me a peck on my right cheek.

"Me and Eddie boy were just trying to work on some new songs for his record' Jasper said with a happy look.

"That´s nice to hear, I was thinking you were losing your touch Edward" she said with a melodic laugh.

"First of all, Eddie really? Fuck you, you know after ten years this shit gets old. Secondly, I did not lost my touch, I was just on an artistic hiatus" I said to my annoying little sister.

"Really? I was thinking it was more like a life crisis kind of thing" she said to me.

" Baby come on, leave your brother alone, or you know how he will get" Jasper said, grabbing his things to leave.

"We are heading to have some dinner, why don´t you and Meg come with us" Alice asked me.

"Yeah, that would be nice" I said to her, grabbing my jacket from the back of the chair.

"We can work on that song tomorrow" he said, and in that moment I knew that things would be ok. Even if it was not like the way I wanted, I got my Muse back, and this time I couldn´t let it go.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you all like it and keep reading! Thanks so much for all your love and support! It means the world to me!**

**Lots of love for LeKat my awesome beta and for TeaForTulips for being my pre-reader! Love you girls!**

**Stay tuned for more!**

**xx**


	3. Edge Of Desire

**Chapter 3 - Edge Of Desire **

**A/N: Thanks so much for all of you who decided to take this ride with me! Hope you all enjoy it!**

* * *

**BPOV**

The sound of the twitching sheets and the mattress slowly moving, leaving the bed left side empty, woke me up before the alarm clock could ring. The soft early morning sunlight brought a faint light though the part opened curtains. The shadow of Matts back danced through my still sleepy state, while he walked to our bathroom to go have his morning shower.

I looked to my side table, it was 6:45 am and my first day at work.

Feeling much more awake, I pushed the bed´s cover aside and got up from the bed, stretching my tense muscles.

I fully opened the curtains, made the bed and went to pee. Matt had left the door opened, and after almost five years dating and two living together, peeing while he took a shower in the same bathroom wasn´t such a terrible thing. I needed to get ready anyway and he was taking too long. Besides I was too lazy to go use the guest room bathroom or the downstairs bathroom.

After finishing, I went to wash my hands and my face, my hair was a terrible so I put it on a messy bun .

Matt was in a good mood, slowly singing a song in the shower, and even if he was a terrible singer it was nice to see him relaxed.

I walked back to the bedroom and Max was still laying down on his puffy plaid pillow bed and yawned at the sight of me. Yeah, even my dog knew it was way early to get up.

"Morning Max" I said, slowly caressing his black and white fur.

He got up from his bed, stretching his black and white legs, his long tale moving from one side to the other. He slowly licked my hand, happy that I had woken up.

"Come on boy, let´s get you some food" I said to him.

* * *

I walked down the stairs with Max right behind me, I opened the backyard door so he could go on and make his morning business on the grass yard. I put new water and dog food to Max and went to start the coffee machine. I grabbed a cup of orange juice and was taking a long gulp of it when Matt walked down the stairs. He was gorgeous as always, on his very expensive black Gucci wood suit that fitted him to perfection, with black shinny shoes and his blond hair still wet from his shower.

"Morning baby" he said, softly kissing me on the lips.

"Morning" I said, wondering how he could be such a happy person in the morning.

"Hey buddy" he said, laying down on his knees, scratching behind Max´s ear, making him bark and jump of happiness. Those two were the happy kind on the morning , while I was still recovering from my lack of good sleep.

" I need to get ready" I said to him, looking down at my pajamas.

"Go take a shower and I will get breakfast ready" he said with a smile.

I went back to my bedroom, deciding to try to look professional, so I grabbed my new grey Donna Karan hemp draped jersey dress with Giuseppe Zanotti cutout peep toe sandals. I took a quick shower, washing my hair and then drawing it, leaving is straight, it was tick auburn and run till my breast. I finished with my silver chandelier earrings, a soft blush, some eyeliner and red lipstick.

**(sets on my polyvore account - link on my profile)**

"Wow you look nice" Matthew said, putting a plate of scramble eggs and toast in front of me at the breakfast bar.

"Thanks, I wanted to look good for my first day" I said with a smile, eating my breakfast, while Max sat beside my chair waiting for me to give him something.

"You look way to good, I hope those graduate students know to respect you" he said to me.

"I am sure I will be fine, besides it won´t be my first time, I did assist Dr. Scott for almost two years you know" I said with a shrug, remembering of my ex boss, that had retired a few months ago and recommended me to replace him.

"Yeah, as his PhD student , not as the primer professor" he said with worry.

"Honey, it´s English Literature in the University of Washington, I think we can assume it will all be ok" I said to him, trying to reassure him that everything would be ok, he did worry too much.

"Ok, just call me if you need me ok" he said with a smile, then finishing his own coffee.

Max was on my feet, barking and shaking his tail, desperate for me to give some food. I must admit from time to time I may give him something as a treat, but he had to eat his own food and not mine.

"No Max, you have your food there" I said, pointing to the dog food.

" Give the poor guy a break" he said, before throwing Max a piece of toast. Obviously he got the peace on the air, eating it quickly and then moved to sit next to Matt.

" You pamper him too much" I said, taking a sip of my coffee.

"That's why he loves me " he said with a smile.

"You are baying my dog´s love with food" I said laughing.

"Our dog" he said, before giving me a passionate kiss goodbye.

"I have to go to the court, I will see you tonight. Good luck baby" he said, before patting Max on the head, grabbing his leather briefcase, his files , car keys and leaving for the day.

I let Max out to the large backyard, it had a large portion of grass, a barbecue area and a nice garden, with old trees and flowers. The garden was one of the many reasons I fell in love with this house.

The house was a Sleek new modern in prime Piney. It had impressive open floor plan, with walls of windows flood the home with light. The Gourmet kitchen had quartz counters and stainless appliances. The Rich hardwoods gave a lot of charm and style to the house, also with custom steel railings, gorgeous tile work and a very nice sleek fireplace. It had also a media room on ground floor opens out to large entertainment patio. With three bedrooms and 2 and half bathrooms, it was my dream house, one that maybe one day I would raise my kids. It was light and open, with a great backyard for Max to play during the day while me and Matt were out working.

**( pictures of the house on my polyvore account - link on my profile )**

I put some water and food for Max on the outside porch, made sure he had enough for the day, played a little bit with him and went to work.

* * *

Since I lived on 301 NW 76th St in Seattle, I decided to take my car to the Campus instead of going with the subway like I did in the past. It took me only 14 minutes to get there with my Prius instead of the normal 35 that I was used with the subway. It had its perks going with my car, but I hated to try to find a nice spot to park, and even if I drove a hybrid car, it made me feel guilty, since the only reason for me to drive today was that I didn´t want to mess my new dress and wear heels on my first day. I felt stupid and shallow, and promise myself I would try to go more with public transport then with my own car. I would try to compromise.

The drive was quick and soon I was walking on the building of the Department of English. I had been spending a lot of time in here for the past few years. I first decided to move from New Hampshire to Seattle when I got an interest on the Master Degree program. Around 2009 I was officially working with Dr. Richard Scott, one of the most brilliants minds I ever had the pleasure of meeting. He was a very pleasant man around his sixty years old, who had too much time to dedicate to English Literature after his wife passed away. He treated me like I was his own daughter, and we build a nice relationship that evolved from teacher and student, to coworkers and then friends.

When I finished my PhD last year, I started to look for job opportunities in other places, maybe a position in a community college, when he did surprised me by saying he was retiring and moving to live with his daughter and grandchildren on Colorado. Not only that, but he had recommended me to be the one to replace him. Initially I said that it was a honor, but that I was lacking in experience to handle an entire class on undergraduate students, that I had more theory than practice, and he should find someone more qualified and experience. He brushed me off and said that I was perfect for the job, since I believed I wasn´t good enough for it, that my humble was a very nice trait to see but was unnecessary. I had been assisting his classes for a while, helping with research, to prepare the lectures and grade the papers. He had faith in me and apparently so did the university, since I had been hired to do the job.

So here I was, at 29, walking inside the so familiar lecture hall. It was the same as always, the pitched floor, so that those in the rear sat higher than those in the front, allowing then to see the lecture. The wood chairs, the dark board and my own desk in the front row.

I put my purse and my leather case on the top of the table. I took out my Mac computer, and plugged it so the projection system would be ready for the class. I also brought some books to start the class and my own notebook with random notes about discussion topics to get through the next few classes.

Soon the mass of students started to walk through the double doors of the lecture hall, each one choosing their sits, more in the back of the class, but some right on the front row. I gave them a minute to fill the class, and to get themselves settle, and after a few minutes I was ready to start my first class.

Everything would be ok, I just needed to remind myself of it.

"Good morning everyone, I am Isabella Swan and for this semester, I will be your professor of English Literature 101. I hope you all enjoy it, I am sure I will" I said, before turning on my computer and starting my power point presentation.

Everything would be just fine, I gave up way to much so I would be where I am today and I wouldn´t let my insecurity's get the best of me, not again.

* * *

After a few introductory classes and a meeting with my post graduate students about their research's, the day went faster than I expected, and I found myself stuck in the rush hour traffic in Seattle. That was one of the many reasons I rather take the subway than my car, but that´s ok, it was worth the trouble so I could take my time in my first day as an official professor of UW.

It was already dawn, so the sky was filled with reds, oranges and blues, it was a lovely day, one of the few warm days that were left this year. Soon the Autumn would come and all the leaves would get their brownish tone and would soon fall. The snow would be everywhere and the days of laying in the soft grass would be over for a few months. Lost in my own thoughts I didn´t realized which music was playing on the radio. It had been a while since I found myself surprised to hear his music.

I didn´t heard much radio, I was always on my Ipod and not driving and listening to the radio while stuck on my car in the middle of heavy traffic.

When this kind of thing happened I just would change the station or even shut off the radio. To hear his velvet voice became way too much for me to bare over the years, it was just something's that hurt too much to remember, and his success and constant appearances on TV and music stations were just torture to me. Especially in the beginning of his career when his first album was filled with hurt and broken hearted songs.

When he was asked about who were those sad songs he would always denied it was about him and some past girlfriend, he would just say it was a story he build, that he was a story teller, and his voice was a character. He was the happy, lay back kind of guy, the one who dated actress, singers and models. He never once mentioned his past life, never said I was his first real girlfriend, and neither that I was the reason he got such a sad soul and broken heart.

At the beginning I was filled with sadness and guilty, for choosing a different path, one that I had been fighting so hard to achieve, one that eventually would lead me away from Edward.

But I feel in love with Edward Masen Cullen, the 19 years old college student that cleaned tables at Clint´s, not Edward Masen, Grammy winner and rock star. I didn´t even knew this Edward. Not this party asshole that loved to talk about his past sexual encounters on magazines and loved to exposed himself to the media. The last time I saw him, he was being chased by paparazzi's while walking out of a LA restaurant with his new girlfriend, a blond actress that I had saw one time at a TV series. He had been reclused for the past one year and half, the gossip magazines would say he went to rehabbed in Switzerland or that he moved to a recluse place like Montana, to hide from the life style that he said he hated so much.

It had also been a while since he released a record, I know this because I bought all of them, they were all in a box deep inside my closet, filled with sad memories from a different past with Edward by my side. The records were still closed with the wrapper plastic, intact, for the past few years. It always felt like cheating to hear his voice and let all those memories got back to me, especially since I had been together with Matthew for the past five years.

But today felt different, I really wanted to let his words wash me, warm me from the inside, melting over my skin. His voice was always so beautiful, melodic, like velvet running down your soul.

He was a brilliant guitar player also, he had a deep love for blues, which pushed him to be the best guitar player he could be. I heard he was considered one of the bests of this generation, he sure deserved the title, he had worked very hard for it. This was his dream, to touch people with his words, to his art to reach the most people possible, to give them some happiness and peace through music. I raised the volume of the radio, focused on his sweet words , this song had a special meaning to me. It was from his third album, and always made me think that maybe he did think about us from time to time. That maybe he did miss me, and that the memory of me didn´t just brought anger and sadness, but maybe a small amount of happiness. That our story wasn´t just a bad memory, but something to be cherished and to hold close to your heart.

A part of me always would love Edward, the part of me that was still that lonely 19 year old girl far away from home.

_**Edge Of Desire**_

_Young and full of running__  
__Tell me where's that taking me?__  
__Just a great figure 8 or a tiny infinity_

_Love is really nothing__  
__But a dream that keeps waking me__  
__For all of my trying__  
__You still end up dying__  
__How can it be?__Don't say a word__  
__just come over and lie here with me_

___'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see__  
__I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe__  
__There I just said it__  
__I'm scared you'll forget about me_

_So young and full of running__  
__all the way to the edge of desire__  
__Steady my breathing, silently screaming__  
__"I have to have you now"__  
__Wired and I'm tired__  
__Think I'll sleep in my clothes on the floor__  
__Maybe this mattress will spin on its axis__  
__and find me on yours_

_Don't say a word__  
__just come over and lie here with me__  
__'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see__  
__I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe__  
__There I just said it__  
__I'm scared you'll forget about me_

_Don't say a word__  
__just come over and lie here with me__  
__'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see__  
__I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe__  
__There I just said it__  
__I'm scared you'll forget about me__  
_

* * *

_**Dartmouth, New Hampishire – 2003**_

I was rushing through the hallway , late like most days, after working lomg hours in the library. I hated the morning shifts , it always made me late for class, and this was the first week of my second year at the Dartmouth College, my dream coming true.

Since I was fifteen years old I had dreamed of the day I would be walking through those walls. I had worked part jobs, saved the most I could, and worked my ass off through High School for the possibility to win a scholarship. I barely lived my teen years, always focused in learning the most I could, and trying to do some summer curses in the community college of Phoenix.

My love for books and literature were always there, since my dad used to read me to sleep when I was a little girl, to when my grandma gave me my first version of Pride and Prejudice, my love for words and stories got bigger when I got older. So when I read about the Department of English in Dartmouth College, I knew that was where I wanted to go. I would be the first in my family to attend an Ivy League college and failure was not a possibility.

My dad was a little bit against it at the time, the campus was in the other side of the country, and he feared for his shy little girl to go face the big bad world all by herself. My mother was excited, wishing me to finally starting living my life and not just reading about it. So when I got my acceptance letter and was offered my scholarship, it was the happiest day of my life.

I was soon living in New Hampshire, working part time on the university library, and spending my free time studding, reading or hanging out with my best friend and roommate Angela. I abstained myself from the parties and the crazy college lifestyle, it was just not for me, I was happier reading a new book then drinking till I passed out in somebody else lawn. Angela and her boyfriend Ben always tried to convince me to go out with them, meet new people, try to live up a little bit. But I just wanted to focus on my studies and on my future career, finding myself a boyfriend was the farthest thing on my mind.

* * *

When I finally reached the lecture room, many people were already sat and since I didn´t knew most of them, nor the teacher, I just decided to test the waters and found a seat on the back of the class.

I took my books from my purple backpack, and grabbed my notebook to take notes, put on my pair of glasses and waited for the lecture to start. I was watching people from afar, seem some faces that looked somehow familiar, but if it was from seeing them on campus or at the library. I looked at my left, and two seats after me there were the most gorgeous guy I had ever seen in my life.

He was wearing dark jeans, a tight black t-shirt with a flannel shirt over it with the cuffs rolled up and dirty combat boots over his feet. He had long legs, and I could see his strong forearm through his shirt, his skin was very pale, his hair had the strangest tone, a mix of brown and red, perfect lips and a square jaw, but the best thing were his eyes. He had the most amazing green eyes I had even seen, and those same green eyes were staring back at me.

**( set on my polyvore account – link on my profile )**

Feeling mortified to being caught checking him out, I looked quickly to the other way, my cheeks getting red with embarrassing. Never had I felt more stupid, it was not like I had never seen a gorgeous guy before, I was no innocent virgin. I had a quick physical relationship with my best friend Jacob back at Phoenix, he was hot and didn´t expect much at return; he knew how focused I was at getting in a good college, and that I had no time and neither desired a serious relationship, but at the same time I wasn´t opposed for us to let go some steam together. It worked at the time, the whole friends with benefit kind of thing, but since I had come to here I hadn´t tried to pursue nothing like it. So after months since I had last had sex, being it the last time I had gone to Phoenix to visit my family, I can say I was sexually frustrated.

I tried to hide my embarrassed the best I could, I let go of my hair bun, letting it fall over my face, making a curtain between me and the sexy stranger in flannel. I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn´t even realized the class had already started.

The moment I heard the professor giving the lecture, I was pretty sure I gotten myself in the wrong class room and was losing my first class of the semester. I looked around, and everybody was taking notes, while the Professor showed some projections about economics and some charters with data, things I had no idea about. Suddenly the Professor started to make questions to random students, and if those did not respond, let's just say it was not pleasant to be that student.

I tried to pretend to be writing down everything he was saying, so he would not target me at his cruel inquisition, but of course that it would not work, and soon he was directing me a question about Market.

"I beg your pardon" I said, to stunned to actually comprehended the question.

"I asked you Ms" the old, bald men, dressed in a fine dark suits asked, wanting to know my name.

" Isabella Swan" I said in a small voice.

"Ms. Swan, what I asked was, could you tell me which are some current issues to do with the free market?" he asked me, waiting for an answer, while the entire class room turned to my direction, quietly waiting for my answer.

I was to stunned, I had no idea what the answer was, I rather despised those topics, finding those boring and not appealing at all, so being asked about it, in front of almost hundred strangers was quiet a unpleasing feeling. I could see the professor walking up the stairs of the lecture room , coming to my direction and he was ready to give me a mean comeback about my lack of knowledge when I heard a velvet voice speaking.

"Manipulation, Free Riders, Insiders and Pyramid Schemes" I head him saying to the professor.

" Very well, Mr" he said, waiting to know the name of the man who gave the right answer.

"Edward Cullen" I heard him saying, knowing that my savior of public humiliation, was also the gorgeous Adonis I had been obsessing over the past half an hour.

"Good Mr. Cullen, at least one of you has been paying attention, but I guess it does makes sense for a English major to not understand economics" The Professor said, now standing right next to me, grabbing one of the books I had out of my backpack, my copy of _The complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe._

If I thought I was mortified before I was wrong, the man was excruciating, I just wanted to dig a hole and hide inside it.

"I suggest Ms. Swan, that you take your books and try finding the right class room, before you lose more time than you already had" he said, throwing the book on the seat right next to me, in a dismissing mode.

Feeling my cheeks become even more red, I quickly grabbed my things, put them in my backpack and rushed out of the lecture room and away from that terrible man. I ran through the halls, almost falling flat on my ass after almost missing a step, and finally found the right classroom.  
I was ready to forget that horrible class.

* * *

When I went to work the next morning I realized that I had lost more than just my pried yesterday at that horrible economics class, I had lost also my employer badge, and couldn´t get my pass through the restrict areas of the library.

The _Baker Memorial Library of Dartmouth College_ was a dream coming true. The smell of leather books, mixed with the dark wood panel walls and the antique wood desks and chairs was my personal peace of heaven. The college was founded in 1769 and yet this library was opened in 1928 with a collection of 240,000 volumes. The facility was expanded in 1941 and in 1958 and received its one millionth volume in 1970. It was one of the most amazing places I had ever been, and working here had been a joy in my life since last year.

"I am so stupid" I moaned, working through the front desk of the library.

" We can give you a knew badge, it will just take a few days" Mrs. Cooper , the head librarian said.

"I am not that irresponsible you know, I don´t know how I could had lost it, I am sure I put it in my bag yesterday" I said, feeling like an idiot for losing it. Now some random stranger could have access to the library at any time. Only God knows what those college jerks would do in here with it.

"Bella, you are over reacting, I am your boss, and I say it´s ok. Those things happen" she said, checking back some books that had been returned.

"Not with me, I am not careless" I said, receiving a return of a Calculus book from an Asian guy.

" I know you are, you are a very responsible young lady, I mean you even come working when you are sick and should be in bed. But you got to let it go ok? Now do me a favor and go put those back in their place" she said to me, mentioning the now filled book carrier.

"Fine" I said, getting up from the front desk and grabbing the book carrier and walking through the library different sections, putting back the books where they belonged.

I was putting back a book about the civil war in the American History section when I felt someone touching my naked right shoulder from behind. Off course the small touch send shivers down my spine, and almost made me fall flat on my ass, since I was caught deep in thought. I caught my balance back and turned around only to find the pair of deep green eyes that I had found myself lost yesterday.

"Are you ok" he asked me with a smile.

"I am fine" I said, putting other book in the same section.

"I am sorry to bother you, but the main librarian told me I could find you in here" he said, scratching the back of his head with embarrassing.

"Did she" I asked with suspicion, of what he could possibly want with me?

"Yeah, hum I don´t know if you remember me, I am Edward we watched a lecture together yesterday" he said, pushing his brown leather backpack over his right shoulder.

"Off course, how could I forget such a humiliate hour of my short life" I said with sarcasm, pushing my glasses back at place.

"Trust me, it wasn´t so bad, last semester he did make a girl run crying out of the room" he said with a small grin.

"I see, so he is known for being an asshole who likes to arras people" I said, pushing the chart over the long hallway of bookcases.

"Pretty much, I just couldn´t let you be his first victim, he has a thing to terrorize pretty girls" he said, handing me one of the books of the chart, so I could put it back at its place.

I pretended I didn't noticed the pretty girl comments, but inside my inner diva was going a hula dance in happiness.

"Thanks I guess, I just should had taken off when I realizes it was not my _Introducing to Classic Poems_ class. But I was too terrified of him noticing me to leave" I said with a shrug.

"Yeah, that class sucks anyway" he said running a hand over his amazing hair.

"Sorry for you to have to listen to it through another semester" I said back to him.

"Yeah, hum anyway, that's not exactly why I came here" he said, opening his backpack and looking for something inside.

"Why did you came then" I asked him, not looking at him.

"You let this drop from your bag yesterday, I thought you might need it" he said, handing to me my lost library employer badge.

"Oh my God! Thanks so much" I said to him, giving him an unexpected hug, one that I wasn´t even sure how id ended up happening since I was never this forward to estrangers. What the hell was happening to me?

"No problem" he said with a small smirk.

"Hum, well, I have to finish this, thanks one more time. See ya" I said in a demising tone, pushing the cart to the next book section I needed to go.

"Bella, wait" he said, running after me and receiving evil glares from the people who needed the peace and quiet to study.

"What" I whispered, going to the Art section.

" I just, well I was wondering if you want to get a coffee with me sometime' he asked me .

"Hum, I don´t know" I said to him, totally shocking us both with my answer.

"Well is that an yes or a no" he asked with a small laugh.

"I am not sure, I mean you seem like a nice guy, and I really appreciated for helping me yesterday and bringing my badge today, but I am not the kind of girl you are looking for" I said, not even looking at him, just focusing at putting the books in their right places.

"And what exactly kind of girl I am looking for" he asked with a defiant smile, crossing his arms over his chest, making his arms muscles look so much sexier than before.

"Well, the easy one, that doesn't care about much besides fucking you. I am not that girl" I said, totally shocking him with my words.

"So that's 'what you think of me? Of what I want with you" he asked, like he was offended, and while I knew I was ok looking I also knew I wasn´t sex on legs. Maybe he wasn´t even attracted to me, maybe he got sorry for me and just wanted to be nice.

"What you do or who you rather do, is your business, I am just trying to do the right thing and not let you waste your time" I said, not letting him even respond, I grabbed my badge and opened the section for employers only, leaving him alone in the middle of the library.

* * *

But to my surprised that was not the end of it, through the next few weeks he made sure to appear almost every day at the library. Sometimes he was alone and sometimes with a group of friends, I supposed he could be studying like most of the people who came here, as well doing research or just enjoying an old good book. But every day before he left he would come over and do small talk. I would lye if I said I didn´t enjoy the company and that I wasn´t flatter that such a hot guy seemed to be trying to get my attention. But he wasn´t just a hot guy, he was smart, caring and polite. We learned we shared many passions, as books and music, and also a love for dogs. Each day I saw him, I wanted to know more and to spend more time with him, but I knew it was pointless, we just didn´t belonged together.

One day after my Friday afternoon shift finished, I was tired, and in a really bad mood. That day I hadn´t seem Edward, and maybe after all those weeks trying to pursue me and no results he had given up. Probably he was with a blond bombshell, one that was smart and hot, maybe even rich, someone more like him. It was probably for the best.

I was living the library, hugging my coat closer to my body, it was October and much more colder than I was used to. Having grown up in Phoenix, I wasn´t very accustom with the cold and snow that would come soon. As I walked down the rock stairs I found Edward sitting there, with two containers of hot coffee and a brown paper bag beside him.

"Hey" I said shocked to find him there.

"Hey, I was starting to wonder if you would ever get out of there" he said with a smile, while I sat next to him on the library outside staircase.

"Had you been waiting long" I asked him.

"Just a few minutes, here take it" he said to me, giving me a coffee.

"Thanks" I said, smiling at him for thinking about bringing me a hot beverage.

"I just thought you might like having some company in a Friday night" he said with a shrug, taking two muffins from the brown paper bag.

"That's very thoughtful of you" I said, taking the muffin. It was my favorite, blueberry, it was delicious.

"It's no big deal" he said, before taking a big sip of his coffee.

"And why exactly did you think I needed company? I may have a date and you don´t know about it" I said angrily, I might be a loner, but he didn´t need it to throw it at my face.

"I may know you for just a few weeks, but I know you are essentially a hermit " he said with a small laugh.

"That's not true, I go out all the time" I said annoyed.

"Going to classes and to work doesn't count Bella" he said with a big laugh.

"God, why do you have to be so sweet and such an asshole at the same time" I said frustrated with him.

"That's all part of my charm" he said giving me a wink.

"And don´t you have somewhere to be? Or rather inside someone" I said with malice, since I knew about his past hook ups with some girls he told me about, while talking about his party face at freshman year.

"I am exactly and with who I want to be" he said, looking right at me, his eyes never leaving my own.

"Really" I asked him, feeling my heart beat faster with all the deep emotions running over me.

"Really" he said, before his lips slowly descending on mine.

He tasted like coffee and his lips fitted with my own in the most perfect way. Never I had felt something like this, something so true and deep. I felt like my entire body was on fire, the shivers running down my spine, it was magnificent. His hands were on my waist, my own on his hair, we moved in perfect sync and I knew I wouldn´t be able to let him go now. It felts like he was made just for me, my equal, the one I had been waiting so long for.

I think we can say that everything else was history, how we end up together and then fell apart. That was the day I knew I was in love with Edward Cullen and all I had wanted since then was for him to be mine. And he was, for a while, till I lost him forever.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks so much for the support you guys had been showing to this story! Each one of you make my day happier by reading, Following, adding it to your Favorites and Reviewing. You guys rock!**

**Lots of love for Lekat and TeaForTulips ! You girls rock!**

**Till next time. Xx**

**PoisonAngelMuse**


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